can you think of the last drop you have poured in that glass before the water spread out on the table ?

i have heard tonight that i am a queen.
meaning i am too much of a queen
this was my last-before-spread-out drop.
and a hard pain is pouring out of my already-broken heart.

i have been hearing this kind of things so many times before.
charlotte is strong.
look at charlotte and see how a real woman looks.
charlotte would know what to do.
charlotte is going to succeed in what she's doing, because she always does.
you have to do your homework if you want to be as clever as charlotte.
you have to eat if you want to be as tall and beautiful as charlotte.


i am sick and tired of this bullshit.
it seems so easy in your mouth, but it's no holidays to be who i am.
WHY DON'T YOU ALL SEE THAT I AM NOT THIS FUCKING PERFECTION THAT YOU WANT TO SEE ?
WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT THAT MUCH THIS FREAKING QUEEN YOU PRETEND I AM ?
WHY CAN'T YOU SEE HOW MUCH IT HURTS ?
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO END THAT ?

i am begging : please end that now.